The tower! The tower! Rapunzel! Rapunzel!
Airplane reference achieved. Seriously, though, when I pulled XVI – The Tower from my Mystical Cats Tarot deck yesterday, I wasn’t ready for the advice it had to tell me.
I’ll put the cat’s advice here later both for upright and reversed, although the reverse seems more pertinent to me at the moment. But the deck is not some magical device; rather it’s a tool for self reflection and intentional bibliomancy and sometimes I’m just not going to get why the card that was pulled even applies to me in that moment even if it very much does.
The Cat’s Advice (Upright) “As soon as you feel your foundations start to shake, if you anticipate your fall and let your natural instinct for survival kick in, you will have time to turn in the air and land on your feet. Take advantage of the height from which you fall – a shorter fall may not allow for the graceful rotation and sure-footed landing. Learn the lessons that come from faltering: adaptability, perspective, resourcefulness, and confidence that has been tested and proven true. Your skills serve you well in times of change and crisis.”
Yes, my foundations have been shaken. I’m not sure I’ve really had much in the way of a foundation for most of the last decade and what I’ve had is shaky at best. I have my one person I trust in Emily and everything and everyone else is suspect, often through no fault of their own. I have immense issues with trust and self-belief and all are understandable if you’ve followed my life story since I was a teenager. But without needing to recap anything let’s just say that seeking a new foundation for a quieter, softer, and slower life has been my goal for the past month. And some things are coming together but the soft animal in me is taking a lot longer to catch up than I’d like. I still have a lot of healing to do that I’ve been putting off for more than a decade, I’d say.
As for falling, I’ve had a series of short falls again and again with my energy level and health not keeping up with what I want to get done. So my house isn’t really in order yet. I haven’t quite gotten into any sort of rhythm with my day-to-day and despite having plenty of things to check out, I’ve only really ventured out once beyond my neighborhood.
The Cat’s Advice (Reversed): “Changes math have left you feeling adrift and ungrounded, unable to get your paws back on solid ground. A feeling of psychic vertigo makes it hard to know which side is up or which direction to take next. Wait it out and let the dust settle before you take further action.”
I think psychic vertigo is an excellent term to describe what I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve been drifting for the better part of two years now. But, I’ve been waiting things out and letting dust settle for a while, only to kick up more dust. I think what the card is telling me here is to just be patient and get back in sync with myself.
I’ve been very out of sync with myself more often than not for many years. I don’t even really know what I want. Do I keep chasing the dream of writing songs or do I just need musical accompaniment to get writing poetry again and whatever surfaces is better than nothing? I just want to return to aimless bargain bin hunting of trading cards because it is safe and extremely low risk but it’s not fulfilling. Save that for the bargain bins at fairly regular card shows and leave the rest for slow and steady creative flow and soft self respecting reflection. That self respecting is key here.
I don’t really take any conclusions away from either side of the coin here, but this card has definitely reminded me to be more patient with myself and slowly but surely shore up my new foundations in this new chapter of my life.
