The daylight hours felt like they’re getting shorter even though they weren’t. But that’s because I’d lose huge chunks of my day to having to nap or passing out. I kept bandying about fiction ideas but didn’t really want to pursue any of them right now because frankly my heart wasn’t in it. 

Everything I’ve been writing is right from the heart and they’re the best things I’ve written so far. I was right to ditch essays and “content” for more meaningful curation and introspective reflection. I needed to truly understand how what I have to say is part of a long lineage of great minds, but if people didn’t listen to the likes of Thoreau, EB White (himself inspired by Thoreau), and Carl Sagan, what chance do I have? The only advantages I have over them is that I’m still alive (I think) and I have way too much free time. It’s refreshing to know that there are still people like Kyla Scanlon out there (even the Fed bank presidents admire her!) and when the Fed themselves started talking about the potential for disinflation…oh boy. And I have no degree or anything. Just too much free time and an autistic brain that pretty much everyone hates. 

Word of the day: “To collude is to work with others secretly especially in order to do something illegal or dishonest. Collude is used as a synonym of conspire and plot.”

There’s plenty of colluding going on. And the funniest thing, it’s all going to end up going nowhere. But by the time most people would get their due, they’ll have more than enough to walk away and disappear. I was just saying to Emily that most rich people don’t flaunt their wealth. The ones that do are what I like to call the “poor rich” that are so high on their own supply and obsessed with performative nonsense that they eventually end up broke… only for someone to bail them out. The truly rich, like us, know better. We are no better than anyone else. We just got better opportunities and made better choices. And the most important, impactful choice of all is knowing when to walk away. 

I’m done with all that nonsense of cardboard rectangles. I don’t need any of that shit; yeah, I’ll still watch stuff out of curiosity and boredom. But I’d rather look at Hannah Fry. And maybe learn something useful! I am keeping the reading and writing playlist notebook though. That’s worth it. I’m adding stuff from Jess of the Shire, Strange Lucidity, Lady of the Library, and more. I think having a cross-section of who I watch on these literacy related subjects is useful data that I can parlay into something more useful down the line. The world doesn’t need more content about trading cards or pokemon or anything of that nature. But it does need more discussion around shit that actually matters.

I cleaned out my saved from chrome directory of all nonsense and moved stuff I’ve read to my permanent library on the server. 

I want to work. I want to read and take notes. But I’m such a foggy fuck right now that I don’t see much point. My hands are cramping because of lack of sleep so I really am going to have to just use the phone for notes and sort it out later.

I just read a few pages of the book of common prayer, found it rather peculiar, the language interesting but not enough for me to write it down, and proceeded to want to pass out. 

I watched a couple videos, and passed out for a big chunk of the afternoon until it was nearly dark.