I’m never going to fix all these broken systems causing everyone pain and suffering. All I can do is encourage others to create their own system, which is what I did. Somehow, against astronomical odds, I succeeded. That’s only because I recognized the best opportunity of my life just in time. Now I’m still trying to eliminate the last stragglers of my mistakes’ consequences, and in doing so, I leave my future wide open. 

I keep thinking about EB white talking about how writing shouldn’t be seen as a profession, but rather as a reaction to something “more productive.” As much as I love and respect the man, I disagree. Yes, writing on its own does nothing. People have to actually read what you have to say and actually apply something from it to be worth your while. But you have no control over that outcome. 

So instead, beyond being a writer, you must master being a communicator, something I’m relatively terrible at, and yet, I got through to Emily and a handful of others. I suck at properly conveying my message and yet, sometimes I luck out and say just the right thing at the right time…

But I’m not greedy. I just need some sort of cushion. Money is and never will be the end all be all. It just saddens me that writing has become so devalued. Except when it’s a video essay; then everyone clamors over it. I’ve never attempted a proper video essay because frankly, I don’t want to put the work in for something that may never get any views. I worry about backlash. But you know what. There’s a solution to that. Just don’t give a shit. But that’s so much easier said than done. 

Of course, as someone who has taken far more than her fair share of shit, I’ve come to realize that most of it is misdirected anger and frustration. Even I myself have taken until just this year to realize my own anger and frustration was misdirected. Hate the fame, not the players, finally makes sense to me. And most people are playing the wrong game altogether. Just as I was until I finally put together cloud pieces and realized I was onto something big… Rather than cheat the system, I want to circumvent it all together.

My goal is to prove that writing is a noble profession and not just a curious side project that can masquerade as a career. Many kooks have tried to create new “systems,” but they all end up being a sort of cult. I’m not into cults. I just want to free people from their mental prisons and break out and surpass the ones who cheated the system in place of their own. That is, let’s combine our individual strengths and create a force that steamrolls the fat cats and evil underminers and brings holiday cheer every day of the year. Now, onto actually doing that…