In our culture, we now value anti-heroes more than super-heroes. Honestly, I think perhaps that our culture might be correct in idolizing imperfect people who perform heroic acts for less than heroic reasons, much like real life. Every time I have sat down to write a story about heroes, it never comes out well. On the other hand, I have found that I’m much better at writing complex villains; perhaps, that’s simply because it’s much easier to write characters with complicated motivations who operate often in shades of gray.

My problem is this, dreaming the days away, wishing that heroes truly exist. Indeed, there are those who we remember as heroes, but those who are most heroic in their deeds are often forgotten. Most true heroes are ordinary in so many ways, yet thanks to the wondrous nature of circumstances overlapping in capricious and unexpected ways, the truly ordinary are momentarily transformed into the extraordinary. But, those who I thought were my heroes, were in fact, not heroes at all;  many of them inevitably became villains, working behind the scenes to deny me my very birthright, the ability to be shamelessly me. 

I lay awake on many nights, the aches and sores that permeate the very atomic structure of my failing flesh but an aftereffect of the emotional turbulence that rocks my mental and psychological foundations. I am an unlikely hero, and perhaps, I have been, and continue to be, in the eyes of at least one. Perhaps, for me, that should be enough. For I am far from ordinary, and perhaps in my way with words I am some sort of extraordinary, but I am in most ways simply quite peculiar.

There are so few who are truly selfless. And, those that are most likely act in these ways because of something lacking in themselves. Most of us long to be a part of something greater than ourselves, where a few decide that being greater involves standing alone. It may be selfish to stand alone, many will argue, but I would submit that it is a courageous act more selfless than giving into the machinations of an overly conformist society. For by asserting the self, it may seem a declaration of superiority, when in fact it is nothing more than a statement of Sovereignty. And, if others are to be inspired by this example, it causes trouble for those who depend on subservience and indecisiveness to maintain control and whatever sort of power that gives a select few.

~ Amelia Desertsong