I’ve come to understand my own often complex and dizzying thought process as a vibrant medley of colors, textures, and patterns. Unlike many people, though, who find solace in the simplicity of order and the comfort of structure, I’ve learned to love chaos. Most people in my life have tried to morph me into a guardian of tidiness, an orchestrator of efficiency, and a champion of organization. For reasons unknown to me, these people sought to impose their rigid ways upon my own chaotic existence.

Time and again, I’ve encountered such well-meaning souls seemingly possessed by an urge to box my ideas into neat compartments. I’m often cornered into setting my life on a meticulously planned path. But each such encounter leads to their well-intentioned efforts only serving to stifle my creativity. I’ve certainly become far more efficient in my work process as time passes. I’m certainly much tidier than I once was. Still, trying to organize all my ideas and perspectives into boxes chokes my inspiration and tires my soul.

As a young adult, I once found myself entangled in the web of a woman who sought to tame the wild tempest of my imagination.She was a siren of structure and a prophet of planning, tirelessly endeavoring to reshape my untamed ways to fit her desired mold.The more she tightened her grasp, the more my spirit chafed and withered beneath the crushing weight of her expectations.Once teeming with promise, our creative collaboration rapidly devolved into frustration and madness, ultimately ending our entire friendship in discord and heartache.

But in the wake of this storm, as the dust settled, I found support in the arms of another kindred spirit. She would embrace the beauty of chaos as fervently as myself. I saw her as the moon to my tide, the yin to my yang. Together we took great pleasure in the disarray of our reckless and wild dream chasing. For several years, she and I would revel in unfettered disorganization, throwing things at the wall relentlessly hoping something would stick.

Indeed, there’s an art to embracing chaos, a method to the madness allowing us to tap into the deepest wells of our own creativity. Allowing our thoughts to roam free, unencumbered by the constraints of structure, can unlock the doors to new worlds, ideas, and possibilities.

Unfortunately, in all the chaos, this union between the moon and the tide was broken by our erratic, asymmetrical orbit. Still, as painful as the failure of that relationship was, I learned many things about how to make the most of disorganized brilliance.

Today, I’m a living, breathing advocate of the disorganized and the scatterbrained, the chaotic and the unfettered. This is because after the end of that tumultuous, yet extremely educational relationship, I decided to let my imagination finally run free. I was mocked for my freewheeling style of expressing myself, but doing so led me down the path I’m on now. Today, I have the love of my life and everything I could’ve ever hoped and dreamed for at my fingertips.

I’m not going to be all cliche and say following your heart is the way to go. You still need to have some sort of end goal in sight. Mine was to find someone that appreciated the skillsets and unique perspectives I had to offer. Whatever your situation, the key to success is finding those who will lift you up, while ignoring those who would conspire to bring you down.

The most breathtaking sunsets are born not from uniformity, but from the brilliant clash of colors lighting up the sky in wild abandon. Embrace the chaos, my friends, and let your spirit soar to the heights of your wildest dreams.

~ Amelia Desertsong