I was going through my archive of poetry scraps recently, and I stumbled across the idea I’ve had that revolution might be the only solution for our modern ills. It sounds overdramatic, maybe even defeatist, but I didn’t mean it in a warlike sense. I’ve never believed in violence as an answer. What I wanted to say is: things are broken. But not in the poetic, romantic kind of way. They’re broken in the soul-draining, patience-destroying, spirit-crushing kind of way. All the while, we keep pretending cooperation is the goal while rewarding everyone for tearing each other apart.

We need a lot more cooperation. But that doesn’t sell. It doesn’t trend. It doesn’t scale. Competition, meanwhile, fuels entire industries. It drives the culture machine. Relentlessly it turns people into brands and moments into metrics. And I am tired of all of it. I don’t have the look. Nor do I have the stamina. I don’t even have the heart to be an also-ran. In this attention economy, I am not marketable. I’m not palatable. No one pays attention to me, not really.

Maybe I should prefer it that way. Maybe obscurity is the last safe place. But I don’t. I want to be acknowledged. I want my words to reach someone. I want to feel like I matter in a way that isn’t measured in engagement stats or algorithmic reach. I don’t think that makes me selfish. It makes me human.

There are days I truly believe the world is too far gone. I watch as so many minds too trained to scroll skim past what I have to say. I feel the spotlight is so crowded with spectacle, there’s no room for sincerity. But even on those days where I question everything, I keep writing and reflecting. I’m still trying to make sense of this weird, painful, beautiful experience of being alive.

Maybe I’m grieving a version of the world that never existed. Maybe I’m just tired of the noise. Maybe I’m stubborn enough to keep whispering into the void, hoping someone else is out there to whisper back.

I’m not built for this. But I’m still here. Perhaps that counts for something. I just don’t know what yet.

~ Amelia Desertsong, July 9th 2025